My Girlfriend is Pregnant, Now What?
You just got the news. She’s pregnant.
Right now, it may feel like everything around you just stopped. This wasn’t part of the plan, and it’s okay to admit you’re unsure what to do next.
In moments like these, your reaction matters more than you realize. You can’t control what’s already happened, but you can influence what happens next. How you respond will say a lot about your strength, your character, and the kind of man you want to be.
Let’s talk through what she’s feeling, what your options are, and what you can do right now.
Is My Girlfriend Really Pregnant?
Before jumping ahead, it’s important to confirm whether she’s truly pregnant. The first step is a pregnancy test—and if she hasn’t taken one yet, Hope Clinic for Women offers them completely free and confidential.
If a test has already come back positive, the next step is an ultrasound.
Why? Because a positive pregnancy test doesn’t always mean there’s a viable pregnancy. Tests only detect hormones related to pregnancy. An ultrasound confirms whether the pregnancy is developing inside the uterus and whether the fetus has a heartbeat.
At Hope Clinic for Women, your partner can receive an ultrasound at no cost, and you’re welcome to come with her. Being present during that appointment can mean more than you think.
What Not to Do When She’s Pregnant
When a situation feels out of control, your body wants to react — fight, argue, or run. That’s human. But what helps most right now is staying calm and steady.
Don’t Walk Away
Fear might tell you to avoid the situation or distance yourself. Don’t. She’s carrying the heavier weight of uncertainty, and she needs to know she’s not alone in this.
Don’t Fight
Tension is normal, and emotions can run high for both of you. But instead of arguing, focus on listening. You don’t have to fix everything. Just being a calm, supportive presence is one of the most powerful things you can offer her right now.
What Options Are There?
When it comes to pregnancy decisions, your partner ultimately makes the medical choice—but you still have a voice and a role. You both deserve a chance to talk through what this means for your relationship, your goals, and your future.
Generally, her options include:
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Carrying the pregnancy and parenting
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Creating an adoption plan
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Ending the pregnancy through abortion
Studies show that most unmarried women with unplanned pregnancies choose to carry, while others choose abortion.¹
It’s important not to pressure her toward any choice—especially abortion. Research shows that women who feel pressured by a partner to abort often experience lasting emotional pain and higher rates of post-traumatic stress.²
She needs space to think clearly, and you can help create that by listening, supporting, and encouraging her to get the information she needs first.
“I’m Not Ready to Be a Dad.”
You might not be against being a dad—just not right now. That’s a common feeling.
No one feels completely ready for fatherhood. But sometimes, unexpected moments reveal a deeper strength you didn’t know you had. You don’t have to have all the answers. You just have to be willing to show up and learn.
Being a good dad isn’t about perfection or money—it’s about presence. Are you willing? Are you open to growth? If so, you’re already taking the first steps.
Worries about finances, freedom, or future plans can feel overwhelming, but help exists. Many men later say that the moment they stepped up, everything changed for the better. Few regret becoming fathers—but many regret walking away.
Support for You in Fallbrook
You don’t have to figure this out alone. Hope Clinic for Women in Fallbrook provides free support for both men and women, including:
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Pregnancy testing and ultrasounds
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Tangible resources like baby supplies and referrals
You’re not expected to have all the answers today. You just need a place to start—and we’re here to walk with you.
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